A local man died yesterday of apparent spontaneous combustion in his excitement for Packers training camp. In a rare photograph, Bernie Sessleblunt of Ashwaubenon was captured mid flame-out as his excitement finally consumed him.
“I should have seen it coming.” said Sessleblunt’s wife Agnes, who blames herself for not reading the writing on the wall. “He is always excited but this time was worse than ever. On Monday his Packers Plus burst into flames in his hands. And I walked into his man-cave while he was watching a news report about training camp and it had to be like 97 degrees in there…but the air conditioner was still on.” Continue reading
The Vikings latest free-agent acquisition held a press conference today in which he expressed his feelings after signing a 5 year, 23 Million dollar deal with the Vikings. Renny Hottentot, a sugar glider out of Scrambling State University is known for his ferocity and ability to fly to the ball. Continue reading
Members of the NFC North are gearing up for the coming NFL season by practicing the dances they have adopted as their own calling card. Here are the best known ones. Continue reading
This photo of Johnny Manziel was taken in the bathroom of a Las Vegas night club. Manziel reportedly had to do the trick in the bathroom because he did not want to upstage the headlining magician of the night. What a class act! The Cheese newswire has discovered that Manziel learned the trick from Michael Scott, regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, who used the trick to sell enough paper to save his branch. The importance of Manziel learning this trick cannot be overstated as he is the man who has been called in to save the Cleveland Browns…fans…are…ecstatic!
Here is a little fun before the Independence Day festivities get going…And don’t worry, GPN will have something special (and serious) to honor the day tomorrow, but until then this one’s for all the Always Sunny fans out there!
We’ve likely reached the end of the Jason-hockey-mask-like athletic cups in the NFL.
The NFL has made the decision to ban unconventional face-masks. The league cites neck strain from the additional weight forward as the reason for the ban of these non-standard face-masks. The following are some samples of face-masks that are no longer allowed by the NFL.