BREAKING NEWS! Some Bears ARE Scary

FarSideCutlerBreaking news came out of Yellowstone National Park today, this should be a cautionary tale for all fans of NFC North teams as none of them believe that Bears are scary. Proof positive that there absolutely is such a thing as a scary team of Bears…just not in Chicago…see the video below for proof: Continue reading

Browns Fans Disappointed After Team Fails to Reach for Quarterback in First Round

manziel player 1After years of excitement watching the Browns trade away draft picks to reach for an over-hyped first round quarterback, Browns fans left last weekend’s draft disappointed.

“We got spoiled,” said Cleveland resident and lifelong Browns fan Kyle Sladderblythe, “we got too used to those great past drafts…trading, reaching and getting our guy…I remember the Brady Quinn era like it was yesterday…it’s just sad.”  Continue reading

Cheese 7 Round Mock Draft Using Only Monty Python Quest for the Holy Grail Characters

draft logo 2015ONLY at The Cheese will you find true mock drafts – all the other mock drafts make a mockery of..er mockery. Today, a round-by-round projected draft where all players must be chosen from Monty Python’s THE QUEST FOR THE HOLY GRAIL.

“Good idea!”

“COURSE IT’S A GOOD IDEA!!!”

Round 1 (30): The Rabbit at the Cave of Caer Bannor – Defensive Lineman

rabbit at cave of caer bannorStrengths: Packers fans and Ted Thompson get a surprise when this elite pass rusher falls to pick 30. Largely projected to go in the top ten, this rabbit made waves when he declared he would leave the entrance to the Cave of Caer Bannor – where he was a leading defender – with two more years of eligibility. With elite speed and just the “killer instinct” that makes a great pass rusher. One scout was quoted as saying, “That rabbit’s dynamite!” Rabbit will rotate in with Clay Matthews on the outside or take the weak-side with Clay and Barrington in the middle to wreak havoc on opposing quarterbacks. This combination along with the resurgence of Julius Peppers could be lethal.

Weaknesses: The only knock on rabbit is his below average size. Weighing in at 2.5 pounds (even when he is extra fluffy) his size is less than ideal (though he does have elite speed and an 8’7″ vertical jump) so he is likely not suited for the inside but could be dominant from the weak-side. Has to learn to be a professional as he was twice cited for biting off opponents’ heads.

Grade: A-

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Breaking News! Ted Thompson Outsources Draft Selections to India

Green Bay

Packernation was rocked this afternoon when news leaked out that Packers General Manager TedTed Thompson Thompson has been outsourcing his draft decisions to India-based virtual assistant website Brickwork. The story broke when an email message from Ted Thompson to his virtual assistant Boolah Meshang was accidentally forwarded to Mark Murphy’s office. The Cheese Newswire has procured a copy of a portion of the misdirected email: Continue reading

JJ Watt Ready To Take the Next Step With Texans: Starting Quarterback

JJ Watt 3JJ Watt has done it all for the Texans, and after a rigorous off-season program at his cabin in Wisconsin, he is ready to start at quarterback. JJ is without question the best player on the Texans’ team and in the NFL, your best player has to be your quarterback so the logic is there. And after not winning league MVP last year, Texans fans everywhere should have guessed he would try throwing the rock next.  Continue reading

Browns Unveil Latest Futile Attempt to Keep Fans Interested

Browns revealCLEVELAND — After years of relying on day one trades for useless players to keep it’s fan-base interested, the Cleveland Browns have found yet another angle. Over 27 fans poured into the Cleveland Convention Center Tuesday and cheered wildly as current and former players struggled to extricate themselves from rain ponchos for the reveal of the Browns’ new uniforms.

Team President, Alec Scheiner described the new uniforms in detail.

“They’re just like the old uniforms except they haven’t been around as long.” said Scheiner. The colors symbolize the team’s commitment to being just like it was last year except it will be like that during this year, which is the new part.” Continue reading

NFC North Smacktalk MEME

The Cheese is at it again with smacktalk for the NFC North. Spread it around and make your HairkiniWednesday a little snarkier! :)

The Cheese is dedicated to honest, hard-hitting, cutting-edge snark for the factose intolerant.

To see the latest NFC North Smacktalk meme click here: Continue reading