Local Man Spontaneously Combusts In Excitement Over Packers Return

Green Bayshc

A local man died yesterday of apparent spontaneous combustion in his excitement for Packers training camp. In a rare photograph, Bernie Sessleblunt of Ashwaubenon was captured mid flame-out as his excitement finally consumed him.

“I should have seen it coming.” said Sessleblunt’s wife Agnes, who blames herself for not reading the writing on the wall. “He is always excited but this time was worse than ever. On Monday his Packers Plus burst into flames in his hands. And I walked into his man-cave while he was watching a news report about training camp and it had to be like 97 degrees in there…but the air conditioner was still on.” Continue reading

Don’t You Wish YOUR Quarterback Was This Entertaining?

Las Vegas

Johnny

 

This photo of Johnny Manziel was taken in the bathroom of a Las Vegas night club. Manziel reportedly had to do the trick in the bathroom because he did not want to upstage the headlining magician of the night. What a class act! The Cheese newswire has discovered that Manziel learned the trick from Michael Scott, regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, who used the trick to sell enough paper to save his branch. The importance of Manziel learning this trick cannot be overstated as he is the man who has been called in to save the Cleveland Browns…fans…are…ecstatic!
CP Newswire